I’ve recently started to walk the London streets again, after taking more than 2 months off from cold approaching, and I have to say that it’s been an interesting (uphill) struggle. I don’t care what anyone of these so-called “gurus” say, if you don’t approach and if you don’t practice, you will not be able to consistently hook-up with new women.
So my LESSON no.1 is: Try to do at LEAST 1 approach a day FOREVER (I guess until you start a family – it’s all up to you!).
There are activities, such as working out in the gym, where you only really need to commit to training 4-5 times a week for approx. an hour each time, giving you great results. My belief is that the nature and dynamics of meeting beautiful women is different and requires a daily minimal commitment, at the least! Try a 30-day-challenge, where you commit to at least 1 approach for 30 days in a row.
When I walk the streets, I nowadays prefer to walk alone. I have a new policy where I will not accept a “wing man” who I believe is not on the same level as I am. One of the reasons for this is that you get a lot of SPAM-Y wing men, who like to cold approach A LOT of women only for the sake of looking cool, or for getting “practice”. I am going to bust this myth, right here, right now:
So my LESSON no.2 is: Do your 1st cold approach as-fast-as-possible, then praise yourself & really try and think about how you can improve before your 2nd approach.
I have a belief of doing quality approaches over many approaches. A quality approach is where your mind is prepared beforehand. Think hard about how you can improve on that 1st approach, focus on the positives! The body is far more powerful when the mind is focused. It could be that you just need to plough-through the conversation more and maintain a stronger frame. It may also be that you need to qualify the girl more and make her invest in the interaction. Only you can say what it is, so think hard. And with time, you will be able to internalise this process, and hopefully then teach me a thing or two!?
When I found myself cold-approaching again, after those 2 months off, I was very much focused on the pain of not getting the results that I wanted. I would sometimes get a phone number but then I’d feel the frustration of the, ‘Sorry, I have a boyfriend’ responses.
So my LESSON no.3 is: Every time you walk around, imagine you’re stuck as a character in the DOOM computer game. When I step outside, I like to use the affirmation of, ‘Let’s Play!’.
You have to almost become a logical machine, where you’re de-sensitised from all of the failures, EQUALLY from the successes. There is only improvement and nothing else. I even use the affirmation of, ‘You’re a Machine’, to remind me not to mix my emotions with the process. I have found this to greatly improve my consistency. For example, I did 3 cold approaches yesterday. The 1st and 2nd were not keen to give out their numbers, however I convinced the 3rd to have a coffee with me and then to have a drink. You see, it really can be done more efficiently!